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Welcome to Work Mitch! Updated!

Hi there, I’m Mitch, and I’m here to work with you on all aspects of your career and balancing it with your life. I’m sure that at one point or another, you’ve either worked for or researched a company with a mission statement, and I appreciate that in a company. I want to work for a company whose values align with my own. If they don’t, I’d probably be miserable there, and life is too short for that!

I think it’s important to have a personal mission statement as well. When someone asks you why you chose your job or your career, there are a lot of answers that work. You can say, “I like making money,” or “someone has to pay the bills,” or, “I like helping people,” or “I love the rush of closing a deal,” or any number of other things, which is fine in most social situations. Deep in your soul, though, I hope you have a job that you’re passionate about; a career that makes you happy to jump out of bed in the morning (OK, most mornings, we’re all human!) and get to work.

Maybe you know that what you’re doing for work right now isn’t what you want to be doing, and that’s OK, but I hope that creating a personal mission statement will help you start moving in the right direction.

To that end, I’m going to share my mission statement here.

  1. My mission is to help other women in business love themselves enough to realize that they deserve success in their personal and professional lives, and constantly remind myself that I deserve the same. I’ll do this by purposely reaching out to women both in person, through my career path as a real estate recruiter, and through workmitch.com. I”ll help women dig deep to find their best selves and achieve their dreams. I’ll also help people of all genders reach their goals through the real estate team I’m so passionate about working for.
  2. I will continuously update my goals as I continue to grow and evolve as a person. I will focus on continuing to bring balance to my days and help other women on that path. I blog under the name of Selfish Mitch because so many women feel that they need to say yes to everything their bosses, their coaches, their coaches, their romantic partners, their friends, and their children ask them to do. We all need to step back and be a little selfish; learn to say “no” to things that we’re not passionate about and can be delegated, or not done at all. This gives us the time and energy to say “yes” to things that light up our souls, thereby becoming a happier, more fulfilled version of ourselves.
  3. I will blog once a week, at least, continuously and proactively increase my professional skills so I can better serve my team, and create something, even if it’s a little silly, every day. I will focus on self-love, happiness, success and balance every damn day in pursuit of my goals and as a way to help as many people as I can.

I want you to create your mission statement too. Questions? Comments? I’d love to hear from you!

What Are You Waiting For?

I love singing and karaoke. Like, a lot. I’m not the world’s best singer, but I love the experience. It’s just fun for me. I’m sure if you’ve read my blog at all before this, you won’t be surprised that I really love to sing Britney Spears when I go out for karaoke with my friends. I try to make it fun for everyone by including rather ridiculous dance moves, too.

A few weeks ago, my friends said that there was a country karaoke contest at a bar and grill near us. They said they wanted to go watch people sing, and that the venue itself was really fun, since they have a huge outdoor area. Of course I said I was game to go check it out, and as we were planning, they suggested I enter. If they’d asked me six months ago when I was really struggling with all of the weight I’d put on from medications, I probably would have said no. Now, however, I’ve been working on my mindset a lot more, and I am not going to miss out on enjoyable experiences because I’m worried that other people will judge my appearance or even my voice. I was all in, until I found out that the first couple of weeks were a capella. That’s a lot harder, and country isn’t really in my wheelhouse, too, so it was a bit scary. I practiced a song a little, but my best friend was in town for a few days before the contest and I didn’t have the song ready to go, so I decided to not perform. That decision lasted for approximately one and a half beers, and I decided to be a late entry once they said I could look at my lyrics on my phone while I sang. I did well enough that the judges decided that they wanted me to come back next week, but they told me to practice, and I decided to do just that.

If you’ve seen my silly parody videos, you know I parody a woman who wears way too much green eyeliner, and people enjoy those videos. I decided to see if the green eyeliner worked its magic on singing competitions too. Spoiler alert: it did!!

My friend posted a video of my performance of facebook, and if I can get her to set it to public instead of private I can show you the result of my preparation. I’ll admit that I worked a lot last week and didn’t have nearly as much practice as I’d have liked, but I still got up on that stage again after some rough comments from the judges last week. I’m proud of what I did, and a capella isn’t easy. Did I look exactly how I want to look? No, but I love myself a lot more now, and I was grateful for a healthy and strong body that allowed me to go and have fun with my girlfriends and to get up on that stage and have an amazing time on that mic, and that’s what counts.

So, what are you waiting for? What is something that you want to do, or enjoy doing, that you’ve been putting off? It can be a job, a business you want to start, a relationship you want to try to begin or enrich, a hobby, or anything, really. The time is now to reach for your dreams and goals. There are really talented people in this contest, and I don’t think for a minute that I’m going to win. That’s OK-this means a lot more to them than it does for me. I’m in this contest for the experience because it’s a fun hobby for me, and it makes it more fun for both me and my friends who love to come along. I have a really fun song and routine I’m doing with it planned for next week, because I did move on to the next week of the competition, and that was my goal: reaching next week where we’ll have background music. I don’t want to be a professional singer, and there are people in the contest who would love that opportunity, and I’ll be thrilled for the eventual winner. I think it’s important to recognize what talents I have and to find out which of them I can really develop to help me towards goals and passions that are important to me.

Having fun, bonding with friends, and doing things that scare us just a little bit should be goals for all of us. It’s not always about work. Everyone needs to have balance in their lives! Now that I’m an empty nester and can control my pain from my many physical issues by working from home and doing exercise that can help, I have the time and energy to do fun things with friends sometimes. I need to make sure that’s happening, and I count it as a form of self care. Please do the same for yourself!

Tell me in the comments: is there something that you have been putting off for fear that you’re not good enough or ready for? What do you do for fun with your friends?

Love, light, laughter, and slightly above average amatuer singing,

-Selfish Mitch

So, What’s My Job, Anyway?

Since this site is all about supporting women in business, I thought I’d let you in on what it is that I do, and why I’m so passionate about it. I’m the VP of Strategic Growth for Curtis Johnson at eXp Realty in beautiful Chandler, AZ.

I’m the person who makes connections happen, and I totally dig it. Essentially, I help find amazing agents here in the Phoenix Metro area who want a lot of support in their career, leads, and even better, an education about how to do real estate at a high level and learn to generate your own leads. Finding people to do business with is crucial for longevity in this business wherever you are. These folks often join our team here. In fact, as part of my job, I’m doing a training for agents in our office tomorrow, and I’m super excited about it.

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The class is not on Photoshop, to be clear. I agree with AC Slater here.

 

I also have the privilege of helping agents Nationwide and in Canada who want to really take their career to the next level with everything eXp offers, PLUS intense training from some of the top agents in the country, including Curtis Johnson and Jay Kinder. Helping people reach huge dreams is basically my dream job, and here I am. 

Basically, If you’ve seen the Wizard of Oz, I’m a just a large munchkin who talks to you while you’re following the yellow brick road, making sure what you find at the end will be the right fit for your personal goals. The man behind the curtain is legit in this scenario, but he doesn’t give you gold. His specialty is helping you make you make it a lot of it for yourself if you’re willing to work.

It’s an incredible opportunity, and I’ll link to Curtis telling you more about it, but for now, since I’ve got you here on my blog, I’ll tell you my experience first.

Find out more about what I do here.

Link to Curtis Johnson Explaining our Model. Like it? Reach out to me.

Get To Know Me By My Playlist

Seriously. Everybody needs a hype song playlist. One of my favorite song playlists was inspired by a singer who has been crushing the charts since 1999. Girlfriend has had some personal and professional setbacks, to be sure, but most recently, she was doing a sold out residency in Las Vegas-one of the hardest tickets in town to get your hands on. Of course, I’m talking about Britney Jean Spears. I know, I know, she’s not the most vocally talented artist today, but I’m a big fan of upbeat poppy numbers and showmanship that makes me happy. We’re going to start with her, and you can take this as absolute confirmation that I took the inspiration from my blog from another song that will show up on this list. This starts every walk and workout that I do, because we all need to be stronger than yesterday.

I have been diagnosed with ADHD and struggle daily, so it’s never the wrong time for an extremely talented vocalist to repeat “focus” to me over and over again.

The next one is from a new artist, but I totally love the message of the song. As a white woman in her mid-40s, I can’t sing along to a lot of it, but you’ll love this if you want to get amped up. I give you: Lil Tjay. There’s a clean version if that’s what you prefer, but this Mama can still go hard.

With this one; of course I want to take a DNA test and find out I’m 100% THAT BITCH. Also, Lizzo is the hero we all need in these dark times.

You might be getting a slight female empowerment vibe here. I can’t say that songs by male artists don’t get me hyped up, and you’ll find some of them on this list, but woman power is really working for me right now.

Oh, look! Here’s a song by a man now! Like me, he’s been public about his bipolar disorder, although I don’t think he’s currently acknowledging. We’re both materialistic and kind of controlling over our spouses (first but not last apology to Mr. Selfish Mitch in this post), but him more than me, so, Yay? Or should I say Ye? Whatever. This is my jam.

I think we’re all ready to go from Ye’s intensity to No Doubt’s exuberance.

OK, now a turn back to the intense, but it’s great for getting motivated, and also amazing if you want to shadowbox and pretend to be a badass. I generally end up hurting myself and/or falling, but you do you. Also, if you haven’t guessed, I like the original versions better. You know, for the fucking artistry.

OK, now back to my ladies. For a while now. This song gets me through every fight with my husband, because I know that no matter what eventually happens? So what? I’ve still got my rock moves, and I might just never end up paying his rent again, and I’ll still be just fine. (Sorry babe.)

 

Back to my youth, No Doubt’s fun dance vibe, and terrible, terrible eyebrows. This song reminds me of being young and dating all the worst guys, but having a good time doing it, and especially the good time had bitching to my friends about it afterwards.

Up next, the completion of my Stronger trilogy, featuring Kelly Clarkson. I like certain words. Clearly.

Next we’re going into another banger, this time by Ariana Grande. This one really gets my heart rate up, and I’m not just talking about the guy in the video’s lips.

Then, we’re going to slow it down a bit. This song might not seem to make sense on this list for a lot of people, but it does for right now. I’m unapologetic when I’m in the right. When I’m wrong, I’ll be the first to say it, but no, I don’t apologize when someone does me wrong and then expects me to be cool with a half-assed apology or no apology at all. No thanks.

 

Back to my favorite genre of music, and something I hope everyone I love hears and knows every single day. I could do without the sad banging at the beginning of this video, but I love the stories P!NK tells in her videos.

Next up, we have the Queen Bee of today’s music, back when she was in a trio with other girls with amazing abs, they came out with this song, which is pretty damn good. Also, I admire Kelly and Michele’s comfort at singing endless “Ooo, oooh, OoHHHHHs” behind Beyonce and being happy with the occasional verse or bridge. All of them are talented. I wouldn’t stand for it, and my abs never looked like that.

This one has a great beat, but it’s a great message too. Girls, the boy who stumbles home from the bar at 2 am, or worse, regularly calls you and wakes you up to pick him up or asks if you want to chill is the wrong guy.  The right guy may do it on occasion, but not all the time.

In the same vein, I like to dance to this with my friend’s 3 year old daughter. I hope it gets through to her on a deep subliminal level. Plus, it brings back memories of great times with friends at Montana State University back in the day.

This one takes it back to the 90s as well but I love it. However, as I was listening to the lyrics the other day, I had to wonder…why in the fresh, steaming, pile of hell shit have things not changed since then? Eyebrows and low rise pants, yes, have changed for the good. Everything else? Not so much.

Let’s get back to having a bunch of fun. Pinks celebrates those who are wrong in all the right ways, all the underdogs, dirty little freaks, those who are too cool for school and treated like a fool, and I dig it.

This one doesn’t need anything but to say, not a damn thing. Also? Kinda want that tattoo.

This one…again. It’s 2019, and we’re dealing with so many of the same exact issues. It’s time to stop this crap. It’s also time to stop…and dance.

This next one is from a true groundbreaking rock goddess. In the 80s, pop singers were hitting the charts, but this woman is no pop princess. She’s gritty, real, and unapologetically herself. We can all take a cue from her here.

Beyonce is back, but this time on her own, as her stage parents always intended. Luckily, she’s a powerful ass woman now, and this song really shows it. She doesn’t even need incredible special effects like the rowboat we saw earlier in Survivor.

Ok, let’s make this clear. This is still Mitch’s Hype list, not Mitch’s songs of empowerment list. This one gets me to the karaoke mic to the point that I have karaoke for it. I do not have a rubber catsuit, but it’s always something I consider. If you know me, you know I’m not kidding.

This one is here because I love a collaboration by talented women, and I also love that it’s more ok now for a woman to be publicly owning her sexuality in the 2019 than it has been since the sexual revolution of the late 60’s. I mean, people still judge them for it now, as they did then, but it’s becoming better. Better-ish.

I play this list a lot when I take a dance break at work. Luckily, I mostly work from home, or things would get really weird really, really fast. Doesn’t mean I still wouldn’t do it at work, but working from home gets me significantly less side eye.

One more Destiny’s Child, this time with a lesson we should all teach our children. Our daughters, because they need to know that they should be independent women who, even if they choose to be stay at home parents, that they need to have a backup plan and savings, and that’s it’s OK to choose not to stay at home too. We also need to teach our sons that it’s more than OK if a woman wants to work and have her own money, and that he needs to respect her decisions. I’ve also told my son that he’d make a great stay at home dad someday if he and his someday wife choose that, but he needs to have savings and a backup plan too. Equality, people.

Last, we’re going right back to Lizzo, slowing it down for us, with a song I just love because she’s insanely talented and this song makes me feel good as hell.

Peace, Love, Light, and DANCING,

-Selfish Mitch

 

Look In the Mirror and Give Yourself Some Love Every Day

I’ve done affirmations off and on in the past, but recently I’ve really committed to it. I them aloud while looking in the mirror, and yeah, it was really awkward and a little scary the first few days I did them, but now it’s becoming a habit and I look forward to it. Mindset is so important in everything we do, and I’m choosing to start my day in a way that gives me a seriously positive mindset. Sometimes when I’m in the middle of the day and facing some challenges, one of my affirmations will pop up into my brain and change my mindset. I’m going to share my current affirmations with you. I change my affirmations sometimes, especially when I realize that I’m having trouble in a specific area of my life and I need to solve it. Some of these came out of my brain, and some of them came straight from pages I found when searching “Affirmations for women in business, but the one I use the most for affirmations is from this site. https://www.wicca-spirituality.com/free-daily-affirmations.html#health_healing_affirmations. Disclaimer: I’m not a wiccan, but I do like many elements of their beliefs.

So, here are my current affirmations. I urge you to create your own. While I got inspiration from a lot of different sites, I modified a lot of them to better fit my needs.


-I am awake and alert, full of energy, enthusiasm, and ready to create success.
-I deserve happiness and success in all that I work for.
-What I do today is important because I am trading a day of my life for it.
-Only that which is harmonious may enter my energy field. All that is healthy l is welcome.
-My work makes a massive positive impact on the lives of those it touches.
-I deserve the best and the best is coming to me now.The more I receive, the more I have to give. I am a magnet to wealth and success.

-This is an abundant universe and there is plenty for everyone, and my work is important because it helps others receive abundance as well.
-I draw up energy from the earth, I fill myself, and I am happy.
-The more successful I am, the more people I can help.
-I have all of the energy and magic of the Universe inside me, and I choose to let it out and let it flow.
-I have faith that the Divine wants the best for me.

-I have been given all my gifts so that I succeed, and I am fully committed to manifesting my desires.

 

You Deserve Success and Happiness. Love yourself Enough To Believe It.

Hey, thanks for stopping by! My name is Michele, but I blog under the name Selfish Mitch, because a huge part of my mission is to help women realize that they need to be more selfish with their time and their love. We need to say NO way more often than we do. Our bosses, our coworkers, our friends, our families, our partners, and our children are always asking us to take on more than we can handle, because we’ve conditioned them to think that we’re going to say yes. This ends up leaving us feeling exhausted, taken advantage of, and not having any time to do things that feed our souls. I am great at saying no, so I think it’s time to teach that gift to other women. But first, let’s talk about self-love.

If I went out on the street and asked 100 people if they loved themselves, I’m sure that at least 85% of them would say yes and look at me like I was crazy. The problem is, it’s simply not true at a really base level for too many people today.

All it takes is the wrong words from one parent, one teacher, one coach, one bully, or toxic media exposure as a child for a kid to start feeling like she’s not good enough. Maybe she’s told that she’s just not that smart, or that she focuses too much on her studies and not enough on her looks. Maybe she’s told that she’s just not capable of being a dancer (me, age six, for example, but even I could see that, so it wasn’t really damaging.) We saw super thin women on TV and in magazines at an early age, and it put so many young girls on a lifelong path of hating their bodies. Now, kids are bombarded by images from Instagram influencers living their best lives in their bikinis and seemingly on vacation all the time, and it’s hard to not compare their looks, bodies, and lifestyle to their own and feel like they come up severely lacking.

We think that we move past all of that bullshit, but the reality is, we really don’t. Even if you’re not aware of it, it’s buried in your subconscious, and maybe not even that deeply buried, and it leads to a lot of self-sabotage. If we don’t truly love ourselves, we don’t believe at a core level that we deserve massive success, be it in careers, health and fitness, and relationships. Maybe you didn’t go for that promotion that you were encouraged to apply for, giving excuses like, “I don’t think I’m qualified,” or “I don’t know if I have the time or energy to take on more right now.” You wouldn’t have been encouraged to apply if someone didn’t think you were ready. The person who needs to believe in you is YOU.

Still dating someone that you know is kind of a jerk? Why? It’s because deep down, you don’t think you deserve a better partner. Someone, or many someones, or maybe just your subconscious, programmed you to believe you’re not attractive enough, that you’re too fat, that you’re not funny enough, that you don’t have your act together, or whatever, and it’s not true. You’re a unique and amazing person, and you deserve someone amazing too. Nobody deserves to be in a toxic relationship, I promise. I started dating my ex-husband, a very toxic person, at a time in my life that my self esteem was probably at its lowest. These toxic assholes can smell low self esteem miles away, and they prey on it. Do the work. Realize what it is that is holding you back. If you’re not happy with where you are in your life, figure out why that is. Reprogram your brain to realize that you deserve happiness and success in every area of your life. Maybe you need to read some self-help books. Maybe you need a counselor. Maybe, like my best friend, you need to meditate. Maybe, like me, you need to walk barefoot in the grass or get a good cardio workout to clear my mind while I work on my issues.

My biggest issue has been body image, and my problems started when I was 11 years old and gained that pre-puberty weight. I’d always been lanky, and it seemed like curves and a little belly showed up overnight, and I didn’t recognize my body anymore. I developed before the other girls at school, and the bullies sure made me even more aware of that fact. In junior high, I didn’t want to try out for sports that would require me to wear shorts, because I didn’t want people to see my legs. I didn’t want to do anything that required running, because I was worried people would laugh at my bouncing boobs. Sports bras have luckily evolved since the 1980s. Now, looking back, I realize that if I’d tried out for volleyball and cross country, I’d probably have lost that weight, but I didn’t do it because I didn’t love myself enough to shut the bullies out of my head. I wanted to minor in theater in college, but I was self conscious about the size of my ass and the gap in my teeth, so I dropped the first theater class I’d enrolled in, using the excuse that it didn’t really fit into my schedule. Talk about a big fat lie. I never enrolled in another theater class and didn’t try to get back into acting until early 2019, 25 years after I dropped that class.

Hell, I’m almost 44 years old and I’m still working on being comfortable with my body. Due to medication for chronic illnesses, it’s bigger than I want it to be, but I tell myself every day via affirmations that I’m strong and my body can kick Lupus’ ass. I lost so much time to self doubt and not loving myself enough to realize I deserved everything I wanted. I’ll be damned if I waste another year, and I challenge you to do the same.